This week has been trying, to say the least. I began summer school on Monday, teaching screen printing. This is my favorite thing to teach, but after school on Tuesday I was zapped of energy. I realized I hadn't sat down all day, both days. Plus I had allowed the resident heavy metal enthusiast of the school choose all the music. So my plan today was to play only soft classical music, have a very mellow day, even turn the lights down and close the curtains for a super low-key vibe. And then, this morning, I noticed my car had been stolen.
As I contemplate my future, and sometimes get distracted and busy and nervous, I am thankful for days when the universe gives me a day off, however horrific the circumstances. With nothing to do but file a police report, I zoned out in my room, took at Muni ride to the fabric store (again), and was reminded of my priorities.
1. Stop running myself ragged with work.
2. Go on walks.
3. Do what I like.
4. Think of my heroes.
Despite my attempts at being practical and good, there is this part of me that dies whenever I focus on that instead of being myself. I really like paying bills and being on time--I feel like I'm winning at a game or something. But it's a very short-lived enjoyment, and it has little to do with me and mostly to do with others. Living, to me, I think, is a little weirder than I've been allowing. I'm not quite sure what that means yet, but I hope to be like Bjork and follow my weirdness to wherever it takes me. Even if people think I'm an idiot or a freak.
In the meantime, here's to hoping my car reappears soon.
Love,
A